Am I Sitting By the Pool or Starring Down My Nose?

John 5:1-16

There was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem at the Sheep Gate a pool called in Hebrew Bethesda, with five porticoes. In these lay a large number of ill, blind, lame, and crippled. One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be well?" The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me." Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your mat, and walk." Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked. Now that day was a sabbath. So the Jews said to the man who was cured, "It is the sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to carry your mat." He answered them, "The man who made me well told me, 'Take up your mat and walk.'" They asked him, "Who is the man who told you, 'Take it up and walk'?" The man who was healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had slipped away, since there was a crowd there. After this Jesus found him in the temple area and said to him, "Look, you are well; do not sin any more, so that nothing worse may happen to you." The man went and told the Jews that Jesus was the one who had made him well. Therefore, the Jews began to persecute Jesus because he did this on a sabbath.

I read these lines and a few things come to mind:

1) Jesus asks, "Do you want to be made well?" The smart aleck in me wants to say, "DUH!", but then I think really hard. How many ways am I broken and do I actually ask God to heal my disordered lifestyle/addictions? I, have but its rare. I find that usually that I pray for others or ask for forgiveness rather than getting to the root of my problems and asking for help. As a musician I want to use my talents for God, but do I really do my best. Am I working on scales? Do I actually practice efficiently? When I go out and play live am I making the most to reveal the backstory of how God influences me in all the songs I play whether they are originals, covers, secular or Christian?

2) Jesus said, "Look you are well; do not sin anymore". I read this line and can't help but think about some of the bad stuff that happens in my life. Obviously sin affects me but sometimes it manifests in a real way. I know some people don't like to think about this. I often get frustrated as an artist because it seems like I am getting nowhere. Perhaps this is in part due to my sin. I often wonder if sin has more of an effect that breaking the relationship between me and God and/or me and someone else. This is something new for me to chew on today.

3) I find it odd that "the Jews", got on him for carrying his mat on the sabbath. I know the sabbath is important, but there is something deeper here. How many times have I looked down my nose at a show because someone was acting unchristian? I need to spend more time with Jesus and following his way and loving others that may be doing unchristian things and instead of judging them I should love them and have a conversation.

Jesus,

It's obvious, I have a lot of work to do. I am so sorry. I get distracted. I get stupid. Help me to love like you and not be a jerk. Help me to love and share your love instead of judge. I can't save anybody. That's your job, but help me to be better at introducing you to others. Help me to speak with love. Help me to respect the life and talents that you have given me. Help me to make the most of what I have and who I am. I am a sinner Jesus, but I love you and I desire you to heal me.

In Jesus Christ's name I pray,

Amen